Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
