I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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