Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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