They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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