Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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