I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
