When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
