I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
