On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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