My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
