I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
