ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
