I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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