I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
