Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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