they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
