He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
