I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
