'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
