Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
