life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
