Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
