just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
