Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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