Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I would ride that face into the sunset
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
