I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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