i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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