Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
