I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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