I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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