Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
