whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
