how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
