why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
