I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
