Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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