Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
