Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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