dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
