I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
