you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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