Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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