yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
