I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
