I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
