I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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