The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
