and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
