she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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