it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
