thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
