I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize