u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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