I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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