There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
