i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
