Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize