I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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