You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize