STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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