You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
