i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish you could order shots online.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
