u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
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i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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