Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
do herpes really smell.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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