I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
