Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
