She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
