If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
