I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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